Men, eDating and Mast*****ion - The Early Years

Seated across from an elegant woman at a restaurant, I gnawed the inside of my cheeks in a feeble attempt to refrain from laughing in her face.

"My poor brother got sucked in by a woman on the internet. On a dating site. They never even met and he sent her thousands of dollars!" she said in an outraged tone.

That counts as one amazing feat - the guy's so cheap his butt cheeks puckered each time he opened his wallet.

"So, one day, while I was on the road, I went to the address that woman gave him. I walked up to the front door, knocked and was greeted by this fat, frumpy and ugly woman wearing a housedress." She gulped a mouthful from her wineglass. "I can't believe my handsome brother was taken in by her."

I can believe it. I just wish I knew her secret.

A chatroom conversation years ago gave birth to eDating Advice from the Bubbameistah. A young woman was scammed from a man she met on a dating site. She was traumatized, to say the least. I chatted with her and she felt better from the convo after a few laughs. "Hmmmm," I thought, "fodder for a series."

Since then, I've heard countless horror stories from both women and men taken in by edating predators. The funny part is that I never had those experiences. Every man I decided to meet in reality has taken me out to the finest restaurants, some to theatre, and some to events for the FIRST date!

"What's your secret?" is the question most women ask.

"I learned from others' mistakes," I replied. And I did. I know precisely how to separate wheat from chaff, a time-consuming process. You have no idea how many penis pics, poorly spelt pornography and masturbation web chats I suffered through!

EIGHT YEARS' WORTH!! I'm telling you, 99% of these guys are predictable. I know all the dialogue, all the steps up to masturbation land, all the tricks of their trade. Once I learned these key elements, I waded through the morass with velocity. It's true what they say, "You gotta kiss a lot of virtual frogs until you meet a frog prince."

The best story I heard was from this average guy who suddenly traveled all over the country almost every weekend. "How could you afford it?" I asked, knowing his financial situation.

"I don't pay a penny - the women do!" he chortled. "I've been to Seattle, Reno, San Antonio, Santa Barbara, Boston!" He confided in me, "I chat with women online and we exchange pics. If there's chemistry, they fly me out for a weekend, take me out to dinner, sightsee with me. All I have to do is perform!"

That's one way to see the country. I can't pass moral judgment. He seems happy and he made lots of new friends.

Despite my success in having wonderful dates, I gave up on edating. As nice as those men were, none of them appealed to me other than a good meal in a fine restaurant. Perhaps I'm jaded, perhaps it's my age, but I'm not interested. Or perhaps I've yet to meet the right man. Online.

Offline, in reality, that's a whole other story!

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This is a work of fiction. Names, character, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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