If It's Posted Online, It Must be True!

  1. 16 people named Maura Stone in the US | WhitePages
    Find Maura Stone on WhitePages. There are 6 people named Maura Stone in places like New York; New Mexico; North Carolina; Illinois.

In 2008, several high school girls retaliated against a teen-age Maura Stone (whomever that may be, honestly!) and wrote a blog about her escapades. So far, she's raped and tortured children and animals, stole clothes and all the normal stuff teen-agers do or so I see from the internet.

However, this blog entry made on 1/4/2009 resurfaced: Maura Stone, the one you know and love, has been caught with a half ounce of illegal substences on her person. She was also charged with Felony Arson, by accidentally lighting an abandon house on fire. " Oops. " 

Just my luck! For the past two weeks, I've been hounded by companies willing, for a moderate fee, to expunge my criminal record. What criminal record? Puzzled, I googled my name. All sorts of interesting things popped up:

(1) There are 16 Maura Stones in the U.S.
(2) There are so far 3 stories with a major protagonist named Maura Stone.
(3) Every stupid thing I ever wrote is in google.

In May 2012, I decided to test the waters to see my impact, if any, on the world at large. I sent out a press release for June 1 distribution:

Comedy Author Maura Stone Inducted in National Bathroom Readers' Hall of Fame

Award-winning novelist, Maura Stone, known for her comedy & ability to clear a room in 10 seconds, now has the dubious distinction as first Inductee in National Bathroom Readers' Hall of Fame.

Jun 01, 2012 -
Award-winning comedy author, Maura Stone, was inducted in the National Bathroom Readers’ Hall of Fame to commemorate National Bathroom Reading Month. “We didn’t want to flush Five-Star FLEECINGdown the drain with the other crap,"  stated the foundation’s director, Jeffrey Spritz. “Instead, we stayed on the throne for days until we finished!”

Ms. Stone’s first novel, Five-Star FLEECING, won several awards, notably the 2011 National Indie Excellence Award for Comedy along with critical acclaim including the Midwest Book Review’s highly recommended endorsement.  Ms. Stone gushed, “I’m thrilled Five-Star’s so well regarded. Can they say the same for my edating ebook comedy series?”

During April 2012, Ms. Stone launched a five-part ebook comedy series, eDating Advice from the Bubbameistah, a LOL ROFL parody of edating advice. The first ebook, Men, eDating and Mast*****ionwas originally yanked off the virtual bookshelves because Ms. Stone used the word, “mast*****ion,” in its entirety. “I learned a lesson from that,” said Ms. Stone, “I should’ve named it: _*!#%&^(^^#*)&.”

Men, eDating and Mast*****ion has become the darling of the internet and an underground hit. “Since its release, the proportion of my online stalkers has grown exponentially,” said Ms. Stone.

During the ceremony held in the women’s street-level bathroom at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City, Ms. Stone was handed an aluminum statue of Rodin’s Thinker perched on a toilet, book on his lap. “I’ll treasure it always,” she stated to the director, two bathroom attendants and one tourist stuck in a stall.

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Imagine my surprise when I received congratulations from friends on FB as well as from Kindle and other organizations on twitter. I arrived! So, fiction has now been made fact. Subsequently, I updated my linkedin profile, my resume and anything that carries my name.

It also developed into a litmus test of sanity and gullibility all wrapped in one package. Sweet!

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This blog and all its posts are a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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