Would you believe I once had a weekly column named, "The Taxidermied Rodent Speaketh"? I initially named it, "Stoned Zombie Andy Rooney," but the Editor-in-Chief stole that name from right under my nose for his column. The whole goal was to write as similar as possible to Andy Rooney. He didn't do that which defeated the entire purpose of the exercise.
This is the article, reprinted for your benefit. Mind you, it's not earth-shattering. It was just fun as hell to write it:
The Taxidermied Rodent Speaketh -
Whimsies and musings from the near dead
"WHORE IS OVERUSED"
by Maura Stone
I gave up reading newspapers. If I don't share similar political agendas as the newspaper, I often feel insulted. Even confused. I may even change my political stance. It's way too daunting. Instead, I turn to twitter. Twitter, at least, gives me the news right at the moment that I can decipher in two seconds. That's really all I want, just a few words to let me know what occurred. From there, I can interpret in my very own fashion and not be swayed one way or another just as long as I don't click onto the links. They bring me back to those newspapers where I feel compelled to think and reassess my opinions. I try to avoid that at all cost.
Twitter also brings me the latest in people's outlooks. Debates range all over the place from sex to Constitutional Law in haiku form. The latter, though, seems to be a hot topic on twitter. Hot enough for people to devolve while spouting their perspective on several amendments from the Bill of Rights. For some reason, the Bill of Rights provoke heated debates. I should be happy that Americans feel so strongly about their Bill of Rights. Before twitter, I never really addressed that topic, relegated to the cobwebs of school lessons. But, after reading tweets, I felt compelled to re-read the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. It makes me proud to be an American.
The interesting aspect about tweet arguments is how they devolve. At the end of an exceedingly long and prolific exchange of intellectual ideas, once again in 140 characters or less, everyone gets worked up. There's no winning an argument of this magnitude. Everyone's entrenched in their self-righteous opinion. Especially concerning the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Which is probably why the exchanges end with the classic: You fucking whore.
Which brings to question: why that particular word? I mean, if I argue about the 2nd Amendment under the Bill of Rights and someone doesn't agree with me, I'd call them a moron, a troglodyte, a syphilitic son of a bitch (my personal favorite). There are many other names I can call someone. Yet, it just doesn't seem befitting for a discussion about the Bill of Rights except for exercising my freedom of speech under the 1st Amendment.
Yet, calling someone a whore?
Just to make sure, I checked with the online Merriam Webster dictionary. The definition of a whore is a man or a woman who engages in sexual acts for money. Frankly, it simply doesn't fit at all.
Talking about context, why is it that men call women a whore when they refuse to sleep with them? That makes no sense whatsoever. Considering the definition, it's outrageous unless the men don't want to pay. But I don't think that's what's at stake. Something tells me these guys want a freebee, a pity fuck. I propose an alternative insult: frigid. Frigid would be suitable, striking to the core. It's more debasing, undermining the caliber of a woman's ability to enjoy sex. Although, come to think of it, I haven't seen that word bandied about on twitter. Frigid definitely would ruffle quite a few feathers especially while discussing the 8th Amendment.
Another word would be "lesbian," which may explain why a woman won't have sex with a man, of course from the guy's point of view. However, given today's sensitivity towards the gay community, calling anyone a lesbian may be construed as hateful. It's rarely used on twitter as a hurled insult which is a good thing and shows how much we've progressed. Perhaps whore is a better invective in that regard.
Still, it goes to show that calling a woman who refuses to sleep with a man a "whore" puts a spin on the word. It loses its impact. It's also insulting to people who earn their living that way. And confusing to the masses.
One parting note: do people call whores whores? Might want to check that out.
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This blog and all its posts are a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.