A Little Interlude Between Storms

One of the worst phrases people regret hearing from me is, "Let me get you up to speed."

There's a collective groan for it means they're going to be subjected to a few hours of storytelling to get to understand:

(1) Why I was homeless when I returned from India;

(2) How I caught cradle cap; and

(3) Why I was accused of burying a guy's body in the middle of the lake.

There are countless other questions that people ask, like: Weren't you supposed to be living in Miami with a guy? Or, weren't you supposed to be in Los Angeles visiting a guy? And, weren't you supposed to be moving in with some guy in NYC?

The long and short of those replies was simply, "It didn't work out." However, knowing me, people ask, "What's the real deal?"

That's when everyone pulls out a cuppa java to listen to one of my convoluted and tangential stories that keep them wide-eyed and shaking their heads.

In my life, one story flows into another. Like how I found out I've 3 kidneys, how I met Jamie Foxx and why my neighbors hate me so much.

Over the course of five months, my circle of friends and acquaintances have been regaled with episodes from one thing that twisted and evolved into an entirely different direction with a new cast of characters. Sorry to bring up the topic again, but it has been my #1 hit parade lately.

Unsuccessfully, I tried to blog about what happened, but I decided this flow chart would best suit my needs:

Okay, this is why I write. I can't fucking draw. Still, it's quite simple to follow, right?

So, that's it in a nutshell for now. Until the next epic saga.

Take advantage of this slight lull to peruse my all-time favorite blog posting:

Law & Order SVU

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Michael Seese said...

Your picture makes perfect sense to me. Of course, Rorschach tests and the Beatles song "Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My Monkey" also make perfect sense to me.

maura stone said...

You should definitely take a gander at my tats!!!