It's Only Facebook/Twitter

While making my bed this morning, I came across a big chip of plastic on my sheets. What is it? ran through my mind. What's THAT doing in my bed? Scratching my head, I couldn't even imagine anything I own which resembles that piece of plastic. Could it be from the washing machine? Dryer? Vibrator? 

Nope to all. Then again, I could've dragged that in from anywhere. Last night, out with friends at a nice restaurant where we sat in the furthest corner to protect me from sounds invading in my head (the tinnitus was so bad, "WHAT" was my contribution to all conversation), I put my hand in my jacket pocket and removed a 6" tree branch.

"What the hell is that?" asked my friends.

"Tree branch."

"How the hell did THAT get in your jacket pocket?" As it's now winter, I wear a thick overcoat whenever I step foot out of the house. A thick overcoat's necessary where I live up in the mountains. Actually, you have to cut me outta that coat which, once put on, never comes off until April or the final thaw whichever comes first. I don't even want to describe my boots. Those I do remove to air out. Otherwise the odor would be as potent as sarin.

I shrugged. Lord knows. At least they don't know about the beetles that get caught in my hair which freaks out my hairdresser. That's a tough one to explain, especially to this crowd. Especially in wintertime.

Before I tossed the plastic chip in the garbage can, several incidents over the recent past came to mind. For example, I placed an item on my desk, turned my back for one moment to see it was now on the coffee table. Yes, I may be a bit absent-minded, but still...

I blame it on the p-p-p-p-p-poltergeists. Those are the ones who dicked around with my toilet flapper and flushed once for yes and two for no to my rhetoric questions shouted in my living room while playing on twitter. They're also my worst literary critics. Yes, it must be poltergeists who placed that plastic chip in my bed. Unless it's the one the space aliens embedded in me that came out through an orifice or two.

Which got me to thinking...

Thinking's a dangerous thing. Especially to someone like me who gets caught in tangential thoughts where one leads to another and voila! I resolve a dormant issue buried in the recesses of my reptilian brain.

Which leads me back to my own personal philosophical conundrum: do we live in reality or in a virtual one? Lately, I've noticed that people tend not to separate the two, especially online. Which accounts for edating and my comedy books about it.

Still, the inability to separate virtual life from real life puzzles me. I've noticed it on twitter. In particular, there's one guy who hides behind a female persona. Even after the newspapers screamed front page articles exposing his female twitter persona and the guy behind the avi, online people still treat him as a woman.

That really makes me wonder. About people. About how fantasy supersedes reality every time. Hey, I had to end a relationship because the reality of me pales in comparison to the siren song of a fantasy. I know firsthand that guy loves pussy, yet his heart's devoted to a man who dallies online as a woman.

Despite all my former blog postings about this, I'm still perplexed. Perhaps if I grew a dick, that man would find a way to love me as a woman. Then again, if I grew a dick, I'd be front page news as well and must contend with so many questionable issues about sexuality. I'm grateful that that isn't a possibility for I'm already over my head with my own waxings about my perception of reality.

Several months ago, I posted a serious thought about reality (you can refer to: where I ruminated about an article my brother sent me years ago. In essence, 3/4s of the world's scientists believe we're not living in reality, we're just a version of a computer game.

I, as well, wonder whether our reality is real. I mean, things seem so bizarre, things people take for granted or don't even bat an eye. Even if they did, they don't question, but accept whatever tepid explanations are out there. Where spin on political situations is so heavy-handed that few see it for what it is! I'm talking about the lack of overall critical examination of events. The acceptance of conditions where the attitude is, "It is what it is,""Whatever," and my fav phrase, "You can't fight City Hall." And lately from the sheep, "Let the government take over and control {whatever whatever whatever}."

Please, don't get me started.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm a lone wolf baying at the moon. Luckily, online I've met other lone wolves. But they're even crazier than me which makes me feel even more alone. And sometimes I even date them. At least, in that way, I feel sane in comparison. Then again, I wonder about my mental state to date someone whose eyes roll back in his head while in conversation. And these are the people I initially meet F2F!!

Lately, in face of a national tragedy concerning the recent massacre of children, people have taken to social media to vent. This also took form in FB/twitter threats: if you don't believe in my politics, I'm going to unfriend/unfollow you.


Talk about delusion! What insanity! Aghast, I wonder, "Are these people idiots?" To take a political stand while the bodies are still warm? Since when has their following/friending become so tantamount to my life, so important to my being that the simple flick of a fingertip and poof! their online absence will devastate and ruin me?

WHOA! That was a wake up call, if anything. That the blend of fantasy and reality has already occurred.

These people take social media way too much to heart. Probably because they can't get off their fat, lazy asses to go outside and meet people in the real world.

Which brings me back to my musings about reality. For I see people slip and believe that all's just as real online in 140 characters as their hands on the keyboard.

Well, some physicists are putting real life to the test using a computer model to simulate our reality using a technique named "Lattice quantum chromodynamics" whatever the fuck that is. The concept is that if they make the simulations large enough, something like our universe should emerge.

According to an article in Yahoo news (okay, that should make you worry to read a scientific article in there, for sure!): "To translate, if energy signatures in our simulations match those in the universe at large, there's a good chance we, too, exist within a simulation.
Interestingly, one of Savage's {a professor at University of Washington} students takes the hypothesis further: If we stumble upon the nature of our existence, would we then look for ways to communicate with the civilization who created us?"

And you thought I'm the crazy one here. Now that it's been established that scientists think in this vein, I've a few questions to pose about this experiment:
  1. When will this be done? And, once completed, when will the results be released to the public? Will the results be released to the public via Yahoo news?
  2. If we are a simulation, then wouldn't the scientists' results be off as well, perhaps showing us that we're NOT a simulation? You gotta think of the beings who created us as a simulation. They must be two steps ahead of us, isn't that right?
  3. Should it be proven that we are a simulation, how will that affect us? Perhaps now ANOTHER conspiracy theory will be created to cover this up. Think about it: if people believe that they are not real, our existence is just someone's virtual game and our lives, dreams, hopes and desires are not real, I shudder to think of the ramifications. And the consequences. The words, "running amok" come to mind.
  4. Would the beings who created us as a simulation finally expose themselves to us or hit the RESET button... on December 21 for example?
These are pressing questions. But they don't need to be answered now. 

At least I can tell in my virtual reality of my existence the difference between interactions on social media and those from my friends across the table while I type this blog. I'm seated at The Bake House where I just ate a delicious mushroom and barley soup with friends who scream at me, "Put that damn laptop away! Are you that addicted to the internet?"

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