Really, Now: What the Fuck is Dawson's Creek & Who is James Van Der Beek?

Now I know I live in a parallel universe for I never saw Dawson's Creek. I never even HEARD of Dawson's Creek. Or of this actor, James Van Der Beek. Only through heavy hitting ads for this newish tv show, "Don't Trust the B in Apartment 23," which cracks me up because I don't watch tv, haven't for over 6 years, just internet tv. The fact that I'm bombarded for ads of a tv show on internet tv astounds me. Even more so because this torrential flood of internet tv ads pushing "Don't Trust the B" tv show extols James Van Der Beek from Dawson's Creek.

WHAT THE FUCK? Who is this guy? What WAS his show? What IS this new fucking show?

Why can't I watch my Law and Order: SVU show in peace?

Things like this really shake me up. There's a natural assumption that I've heard of Dawson's Creek. And of this actor with a strange long name that really does trip off the tongue lightly. However, upon examination, Van Der Beek's a very weird Dutch name to have in the US. Who the fuck still goes around with their original ethnic name today? You wouldn't believe MINE - fuck no!

But, getting back to my confusion: the reason why I DON'T DO DRUGS and minimal to negligible drinking is because I've a tenuous toe gripping reality. Doesn't mean I'm crazy. It means that I live in my head; my internal landscape is far more fun, colorful, vibrant, emotional and deeper than how I find reality. Sorry, but it's true.

I make it a point, though, to be in touch with reality otherwise I shall end up in a looney bin.

So, when I'm bombarded on INTERNET tv, for Chrissake, with ads extolling James Van Der Beek from Dawson's Creek, I get twitchy.

Kinda reminds me when I realized this past year that women stopped fighting for equal pay, equal rights and just focused on reproductive rights. That was a dose of cold water. When did women share that amnesiac cool-aid? Where was I in the midst of this national mind-meld where the majority of women today possess the intelligence of cattle? Harsh, yes. Any person with a scintilla of intelligence who suffered the GOP & DEM Presidential debates and conventions knows I'm right. I'm perplexed that I didn't pick up on this earlier.

Then again, I'm too busy within my internal landscape gliding fleetingly on the surface of reality. Last night, I didn't sleep well, overcome with a certain unease - not with the fact that women today prefer being walking uterus. Instead, I imagined how artistically vapid my life is living in utter ignorance of Dawson's Creek and James Van Der Beek.

This morning, I dragged my aging carcass out of my flannel-sheeted bed at 6am so that I can research online about James Van Der Beek and Dawson's Creek.

Not only has this transmogrified into a reality check, it became a litmus test of my sanity.

According to Wikipedia, Dawson's Creek played from 1998 until 2003. WHEW! I dodged that bullet. In 1998 to mid-2000, I was an executive in San Francisco, flying all over the country. Then, I moved back to NYC to take care of my dying mother. I lost my mind 9-11-01 when my best friend and my colleagues were murdered in one morning. And then my mother died on February 2002. I spent the following several months sitting shiva in a small town in Languedoc, France. Don't even ask!

So, I guess that whole Dawson's Creek mystique passed me over. Which brings me up to: who the FUCK is this James Van Der Beek?

All I can say is that I'm convinced, insofar as TV shows go, string theory is true and I do live in one of the infinite variances of this reality. Last night, I sat down and waded through several episodes of that B show. It's vapid, stupid, yet the brilliance of the show comes down to this James Van Der Beek and his self-parodying. I absolutely ADORE the absurdity of how he pokes at himself, except, sadly, all the Dawson's Creek references elude me.

Don't hate me, I NEVER watched Dancing with the Stars (I prefer to DANCE rather than watch people dance) so that entire episode didn't mean that much to me.

At any rate, I endorse the B show only to watch how many times this James Van Der Beek can poke fun at himself until he jumps the shark with that. Otherwise, I rather spend my free time wandering around in my mind which is my source, my amusement and ammunition to sit down and write. Like this blog and my books.

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Anonymous said...

Oddly, I liked your blog. Sorry for all the wrongs that happened while the rest of us were enjoying some Dawsons Creek. I will say, I agree to disagree and kuddos on your blog. Cant believe you would take time to write a blog rather than waste time on another Law and Order. Something must be good about this funny "B" show. I met James once and he was really nice and down to earth, must be the dutch in him... who knows. Thank goodness he did not change his name to something like "Prince" or "Pink"

maura stone said...

Hey, chacun a son gout, n'est-ce pas?

Let's put it this way: if everyone in a room is talking shit about shit & you don't know that shit from shinola, well...

I don't know any other way to say it best except to convey my regards to James. Tell him I'm in it for the money as well.