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The State of Literature Today {WARNING: X-RATED!!!!}


The State of Literature Today

By Maura Stone






In 1998, Steve Martin wrote one of the most definitive op-ed pieces in the New York Times composed of only two words: Monica Lewinsky. With precision, he perfectly summed up the media frenzy. Using only eight words, I give you an entire novel, 69 Shades of Purple:

“Fucking, sucking and cumming,” he said. He did fucking, sucking and cumming. She did fucking, sucking and cumming. He said, “Fucking, sucking and cumming?” She said, “Fucking, sucking and cumming.”

She did fucking and sucking and he did cumming. He did fucking and sucking and she did cumming. “Fucking?” he said. “Fucking?” she said. Cumming he did. Sucking she did. He did sucking and she did cumming.

She did sucking and he did sucking. He said, “Cumming?” She said, “Cumming.” She did fucking. He did sucking. “Cumming?” he said. “Fucking,” she said. “Fucking?” he said. “Fucking,” she said. “Fucking?” he said. She said, “Fucking.”

“Sucking,” he said. She did fucking. He said, “Cumming?” He did sucking. He did sucking. He did sucking. He did sucking. He did sucking. He did sucking. He did sucking. “Cumming,” she said.

“Fucking, sucking and cumming,” he said. “Fucking, sucking and cumming,” she said. He did sucking. She did cumming. She did fucking. He did cumming. She said, “Cumming?” He said, “Cumming.”

“Fucking, sucking and cumming,” he said. He did fucking, sucking and cumming. She did fucking, sucking and cumming. He said, “Fucking, sucking and cumming?” She said, “Fucking, sucking and cumming.”


THE END

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Reprinted from The Last Goddess Magazine in June 2012.

2 comments:

Stacy Geisinger said...

If I could only repost this on Stacyknows.

maura stone said...

LOL. A link may suffice!! :)