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Let's Get Virtual







I'm tweetin' all the things that I know you'll like 
Making good conversation I gotta handle you just right, you know what I mean
I attached a link to an intimate restaurant, then to a suggestive youtube
There's nothing left to talk about 'less it's 140 characters


Let's get virtual, virtual,  I wanna get virtual, let's get into virtual
Let me read your body talk, your body talk, let me read your body talk
Let's get virtual, virtual, I wanna get virtual, let's get into virtual
Let me see your hard cock, your hard cock, let me see your hard cock


I've been patient, I've been good, try'n to keep my hands on the board
It's gettin' hard this holdin' back, you know what I mean
I'm sure you'll understand my point of view, we know each other mentally
You've gotta know that you're bringin' out the animal in me


Oh, let's get virtual, virtual,  I wanna get virtual, let's get into virtual
Let me read your body talk, your body talk, let me read your body talk
Let's get virtual, virtual, I wanna get virtual, let's get into virtual
Let me see your hard cock, your hard cock, let me see your hard cock



I decided to put the breaks on IRL {in real life} relationships. They're so old school. Time to step up to the A game and join the hordes in some real good fun and get virtual!


RE-CREATION

IRL, you're a needle-necked geek, but online you're an ADONIS! Welcome to the looking glass world of internet connections where men are women and women are men. It doesn't matter who you are online because the chances of meeting IRL are slim to negligible. Unless you're invited to participate in the Catfish TV Reality show. For a fee.



LIVING THE FANTASY

IRL, you're eccentric as hell and strike out with members of the sex you prefer. However, online, you're a Lothario and able to meet people who L O V E you. Unlike reality, you constantly L O V E them back, reminding them all the time of your deep L O V E.

Funny enough, you've never uttered your love or even like to the gorgeous creature who shares your life and bed IRL, the ONLY time you made the mistake of seguing online to IRL. Or rather, the only time anyone expressed an interest in you to go from virtual to IRL because you're a pathetic loser who hasn't been with an IRL lover for Y E A R S.

Which doesn't stop your elitism for you sniff, "Old school," in derision before you turn your back on the gorgeous creature to pursue your fantasy loves.


GENEROSITY

Online romance brings about an elephant's memory which you never had IRL. It includes acknowledgement and appreciation for your virtual loves, something you'd never do for the gorgeous creature you managed to seduce from online to IRL, the person who shares your life and your bed IRL.

With your online crushes, you NEVER fail to remember a birthday, holiday, bad hair day, ceremony, work promotions and regularly email them endless egift cards as well as ship high-end technological gifts to their PO Boxes. Of course, the price you pay is to neglect the gorgeous creature IRL, but who cares?  It's tiresome listening to it moan and bewail the fact that you forgot another anniversary, begging for your interest and involvement.

Fuck that shit: you got thousands of virtual partners who vie for what you can afford online.


SEX

Masturbation seems the key to these online romances, especially to empty screens. The payoff is you're having sex with someone you love and who knows how to please you to the nth degree: yourself. It's also nasty, dirty and disgusting which sex should be and not filled with those, "I love you" gushy moments where you have to contend with a partner and their sexual desires which may vary from yours. Best of all, you can't catch any disease this way... unless seated in the office toilet for a quick fantasy masturbation in front of an empty laptop screen.


CONCLUSION

In virtual romance, words of love and praises up the wazoo will be typed endlessly and gifts for each and every occasion emailed to an impersonal avi's account or PO Box. In return, no more semen to contend with, toilet seats left up, morning breath and listening to trials and tribulations at work, dealing with the family and a smattering of loser friends.

Leave that crap to the next IRL relationship who has to contend with the total devotion, love and commitment to the virtual me.




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