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Someone recently complimented my writing and this blog and appended this at the end, "Although you're way out there."
What does that mean? I've heard it my entire life, but it never made any sense to me. How could I be way out there when:
- In high school I was on Deans List
- I won a scholarship for college
- I successfully supported myself in various undertakings including my own consulting company for 9 1/2 years until 10/15/2008
- I won awards for my writing
Wouldn't someone way out there not be able to perform so well academically as well as business-wise? Or, perhaps I've a preconceived notion of what "way out there" means. So, I went to my sources, all two of them.
"Do you think I'm way out there?" I asked my close friend.
She said, "Do you think I could be the judge of that?" Almost her entire body is tattooed. Still, she's a business success and makes a lot of sense in what she does and in her attitudes.
She continued, "People say the same about me."
"Why?" I asked. "I don't get it."
I went to another friend, a successful artist.
"Do you think I'm way out there?"
"How could I judge?" he asked. "We share similar philosophies and beliefs."
I stopped right there for I recognized something, a truism from the Nanu Nanu cult in which I participated for a decade until they threw me out, cast me adrift for being too disruptive. The thing about truisms is that you've a moment of clarity before absorption of the truism, only to forget all about it. Until the next time which may or may not occur. In my case, the truism occurs every decade as in this instance:
Your friends are a reflection of who you are.
In other words, if you want to get an idea of a person, check out who their friends are. Another truism from the cult: if you want to get an idea of a person, check out how they were perceived in high school as that is the root of the future.
Getting back to the initial truism, my friends change over time. Rather, who I spend my time with is far different than yesteryears. However, certain friends who fell off the map for decades are now back in my life whereas others fell out.
I recently ended a close long-term friendship. I explained, "It's not who you are for you're a wonderful person. It's just that my needs are different and they're no longer met in this friendship." In other words, I outgrew the dynamics. We still keep in touch, but that intimate closeness which we shared for the better part of twenty years evaporated. Perhaps, down the road, I may feel there's a reason, yet for now, it's best we keep a distance.
I took a hard look at the people who I prefer surrounding myself with right now. They are indeed a reflection of who I am or who I want to be: successful, innovative, creative artists.
I'm very happy in this milieu so if this is what it means to be "way out there," count me in.
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