|Chirpie RIP 8/9/13|
Seated at the kitchen table, typing feverish snarky things on my laptop to my friend on Facebook about a guy who murdered his wife and then posted the event, I was suddenly distracted.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a drone strike my giant kitchen window with a resounding THUD.
Within seconds, I ran outside and saw in my deck chair a little bird. I gathered he flew right into the window and then fell like a stone onto the chair. Several times he tried to get up, but fell back. I ran back inside and put on an oven mitt (just in case of disease). Gently, I lifted him off the chair and onto the deck. I checked him out. He didn't seem to have broken anything, but he couldn't snap out of it.
My neighbor was out on his deck. I figured, he's a doctor, so he'd know what to do.
"Hey Rog," I yelled over. "A bird kamakazied into my window. He's hyperventilating. Can I bring him over?"
Rog screamed back. "I'm eating my lunch. Leave me alone."
Why should I've expected any other reaction? I know I scare the shit outta this man when I do my outdoor chores. More than likely, he fears I may do something to myself that'll require his assistance like set a broken leg, dial 9-1-1 or resuscitation. At times, I catch him peering at me warily when I do manual labor. As if I'm testing his resolve like the time I fell off the ladder. Or almost weedwacked my right foot. Or took apart the lawn mower engine which resulted in a bit of a fire when I turned it back on.
I looked at the bird. "Sorry, guy, you're out of luck."
Re-entering the house, I found a box. Back on the deck, I put the bird inside.
"Hey, Rog," I shouted over at my neighbor. "He's not doing so well."
"Don't even dream of coming over. I'll have you arrested for trespassing."
Moments later, the bird tipped over, dead. "No problem, Rog. He just died. Crapped right before he did, though."
I heard an inhuman shriek. "Thanks loads, Maura. I'm still eating my lunch."
If I keep this up, perhaps Rog'll either kill me or put up a fence. Only time will tell.
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