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The Amazing April Brucker!

May (left) and April Brucker (on right)

I have to thank John Powers for introducing me to the funny powerhouse, comedienne extraordinaire, April Brucker. I was honored when April succumbed to my begging and said she'd interview me on her very own internet tv show. Since I live in a remote and isolated location far from paved roads and bitched so much about the commute, April graciously decided to interview me through Skype. Sadly, her crew said the glitches were insurmountable right now and we shelved that idea.

There's a part, though, I didn't want to disclose to April. I knew she conducted as much research on me that I had on her, but I'm sure she didn't know some stuff about me... stuff I shielded like the fact that I'm truly hearing disabled with rare neurological deafness diseases. Now, with an uncommon acute glaucoma, a rare side effect from Welbutrin, I've difficulty seeing. So, in a way, my interview on camera might have been disconcerting with my eyes bulging out of their sockets and incessantly repeating, "WHAT?" in my strong Queens accent every two seconds. Although I'm sure it would've been hilarious if you go for that sort of thing.

To placate me, April suggested a Q&A interview she would post on all her Facebook accounts. That's when reality struck home. What could I possibly write that would be funny to such a talented comedienne? 

I sat outside on the deck, tossing pistachio shells at squirrels while I reflected. I may not be able to see so well, but my aim is quite remarkable. Serenaded by the squeal of felled squirrels, I felt inspired to write. And this is what I came up with: 





Host April

An Ittv Show Q & A Exclusive blog interview with Comedic sex author Maura Stone. Interview by Host April 

Photography by Jumpin Jack


Host April: Your first novel, Five-Star FLEECING, was inspired by your time in the hospitality industry. What inspired you to write?

Maura: I've always been a writer. Let me clarify: I've always been a writer obsessed with sex and pornography. In high school, I monopolized the annual literary journal, Invictus, with gems like this:

While the heat ensued,
a violent eruption
opened the canyons
which sprang forth
molten forms from below.
The boiling liquid
oozed down the mountain and covered the valley.
It enveloped the quiet, dark village. The people continued sleeping.

I continued in this vein for a decade in my chosen profession, commercial banking. Until my financial analysis was read aloud during a Board of Directors' meeting where, after two years, someone finally caught the gist of the pornographic content. I soon left after being placed on probation. Ten years later, the same people hired me as a consultant with a specific proviso, "We definitely hope you didn't change your writing style as that was the only reason why we retained you." It's nice to be acknowledged for my talent.

Oh, wait, did you mean what inspired me to write Five-Star FLEECING?

Host April: Humorist Sam Levinson is your third cousin. Has he served as an idol of sorts?

Maura: In the past, Jewish families customarily married first cousins. That's when there's a bump up and third cousins become second. There's also mass confusion using the anthropological Eskimo kinship family chart. Thankfully, my mother was adopted so the genetic inbreeding didn't emerge with me despite what people say about my third kidney. Although my mother didn't share genetic material with Sam, he adored her as she was the Marilyn among the monsters from a Shel Silverstein book. My dad was Sam's best friend who worked with him on routines for the borscht belt hotels as well as on his tv show. I never appreciated Sam's humor while younger as it was too intellectual for a kid. By that time, Sam dubbed me "The Dour Kid" and preferred my sister who was a baby and giggled all the time when Sam cracked a joke.

"Now that baby has a great sense of humor," he said as a form of reprimand to me.


Snottily, I responded, "She has gas."

"So sayeth The Dour Kid."

While revising and editing Five-Star FLEECING, I received a copy of a page from Sam's book, Everything but Money, from a friend. Sam and I share similar writing styles which isn't surprising since I was trained in that venue of humor since birth. Actually, if Sam were alive today, he'd incorporate the 'f' word into every sentence the way I did.

Host April: You write dating advice books such as The Complete eDating Advice Comedy Series for both men and women. What inspired you to take on this task?

Maura: The Complete eDating Advice Comedy Series for Men/Women is the culmination of eight years of scientific primary research conducted in a lab wearing pen pocket protectors and armed with clipboards.

Okay, I had down time and got involved in a chatroom on a dating site around the time I edited Five-Star FLEECING. I loved chatrooms as I met people from all over the world and got to type in French, Hebrew and Italian. Along the way, people opened up and told me horror stories about online dating. Over the years, I noticed certain trends that're universal in edating. When you think about it, it's all rather funny because the same things occur. While reassuring an online friend who was burned by an online romance, it all came together in a flash. Subsequently, I published my considerable insights which do contain a lot of laughter. At first, it was in a series of online dating books which I recently combined into one edition.

What makes the entire situation peculiar was that soon after I published the series, I got involved with a man whom I met online. Let's say he was choice (e) all of the above and anything you haven't even imagined. Worse of all, I felt ashamed and embarrassed that I, the edating guru, got snookered. I had that tattooed on my belly. In Hebrew.


Host April: Where are you from originally and how did that influence your writing?

Maura: {Pretty much answered in Number 2}

Host April: As an American, you did some of your university education in France. What was that experience like?

Maura: While my mother was dying, I found books in her father's name. He was a medical doctor who died when my mother was five. It was a Jewish Moroccan name which explained my mother's affinity towards the French language. When I was a child, she spoke to me in French and then placed me in French classes in elementary school. That was followed up with a four year Lycee Francais experience in my high school which was called, "Total Immersion Program." During this time, I spent a summer semester in France at a university in La Rochelle. And then returned to France to study at La Sorbonne.

There's so much to say here, but I recommend that Americans should expand their awareness by travel and/or living outside of this country. Americans have no idea how fortunate they are living here and no idea that the rights they willingly allow to slip away are the ones most people in other countries would kill to even have. Or kill to make sure none have.


Host April: What’s a nice Jewish Girl doing with tattoos? Do you know you’re never going to be buried in a Jewish cemetery?

Maura: April, who said I was nice?

Host April: What is your most outrageous sexual adventure and why?

Maura: Let me amend that to my most outrageous romances and then you'll have some story! I'm known for picking the wrong kinds of men with whom to have relationships. If there were a hundred guys in a line-up and mixed in was a space alien lacking testicles, yep, I'd go right up to it and declare my unconditional love.

Over the past several years, I've made such bad choices that I'm famous for them. The boyfriend from four years ago set my house on fire. I had no alternative, but to break up with him, he did set my house on fire. The boyfriend from two years ago disappeared under strange circumstances: rumor has it I buried his body in the middle of the lake. And the last boyfriend... turns out he's a famous sex slave bondage porn star with an affinity for walking the streets of the city late at night with a parrot on his shoulder while in dress, high heels and make-up stoned out of his mind.

That's the one with whom I wanted to share the rest of my life.

As you can see, any sex stories would pale in comparison to this.


Host April: What is your sign?

Maura: From which galaxy?

Host April: What do you eat for breakfast?

Maura: I make sure to use all of the animal, not part of the animal.

Host April: What is next for you?

Maura: I want to write a coming of age novel about growing up with a serial murderer where the characters are all furries. Something tells me, though, that it may fall outside the boundaries of mass market appeal.


Follow Maura at MauraStone.com or on twitter @MauraStone — with April Brucker 


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April is also an accomplished writer and her book, I Came, I Saw, I Sang: Memoirs of a Singing Telegram Delivery Girl can be purchased here: Click HERE for amazon.

To be a fan of April Brucker: Facebook and on twitter @AprilBrucker, website: http://aprilbrucker.com



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