Jewish Christmas

Growing up Jewish in an Italian Catholic neighborhood was trying. Especially since the kids attended parochial school. Back then and we’re talking bout fifty years ago, kids at Christ the King School were taught that Jews killed Christ. Around Christmas time, the local neighborhood boys ran up to my brother and me the moment we disembarked from the school bus in front of our house.

Around ten boys, ready to fight, yelled, “You killed Christ!”

I was around eight then and turned to my kid brother. “Who’s Christ?”

He shrugged.

That’s when I learned how to fight. My brother refused and got beaten up. I used my flute case and slammed those boys over the head because they kicked, punched and slapped the shit outta me. That’s also where I learned how to kick a boy between the legs and used all my judo moves. I learned at an early age that if I fight, I’ll fight until there’s no breath in my body to defend myself.

It didn’t get any better around Easter time.

This went on for years.

Besides being Kikes and Dirty Jews, my family also stood out in the neighborhood for having the least amount of kids. The average amount was fifteen per family. Oh yeah, and having college-educated parents.

For some strange reason, I always equate Christmas and Easter with very difficult feelings. One thing for sure, I hate that home town and begged my father to move.

“Dad, why can’t we live in a JEWISH neighborhood?”

My father, whose aunts, uncles and cousins perished in the ovens overseas, said, “No one will ever chase me from my home.”

I have to admit, we had horrible neighbors. Real pieces of shit. Commack, New York, was a former potato field which was transformed into a middle-class town with leach fields where our urine and excrement and whatever else we poured down the drain leached into our water supply. The hood where my father purchased our home was rife with first generation peasants from Italy and Malta, the training ground for low-echelon Mafia soldiers.

When I was five, the one-toothed breeder hag across the street, 250-lbs, hauled off and slapped me on the face. I was in her house visiting her daughter. “Get out of my house, you dirty Jew!”

I ran home, crying, her hand print still visible on my face. My mother, horrified, phoned my father. They tried to talk to her and her husband, but it was WAR. None of her twelve children were allowed to play with us. We were dirty Jews, of course. We killed Christ. I DESERVED that smack across the face.

My best story among thousands living amongst uneducated and prejudiced people was when my sister was born. All the neighborhood ladies came over to see the baby. My mother, proud of her beautiful baby, showed her off. I overheard the ladies muttering on their way out, “Damn, we came too late. The horns must’ve been shorn off.”

Which leads me to very complicated feelings about Christmas, my home town and Italian-Americans. It has taken me years to get over these feelings and I can thank Obama for turning my attitude about Christmas and Catholicism 180 degrees.

I used to be a great believer in deconstructing religion from society. Until Obama and his Administration came into power. That’s when I realized how wrong I was. Hey, I can still admit I was wrong. After all, it was a deep-grained knee-jerk reaction to being beaten up by Italian-American boys and adults for my faith.

An African-American friend said to me, “Unless they know you, they don’t know what religion you are. My flesh is a beacon.”

Although I don’t agree with the teachings of organized religion, I know that Catholicism and Judaism are the building blocks of our Western society. To remove these foundations and replace them with, well, ‘equality’ is the first step towards Communism.

This is PRECISELY what went on a hundred years ago in Russia. And we all know what happened with that, right? Look at China, Cuba and other Communist countries. Not exactly the best results.

Trust me, I do NOT want equality enforced upon me. I believe in equal rights, opportunities, same pay and benefits for the same jobs, but I do not believe that we are all equal.

No fucking way.

The one-toothed breeder hag who lived across the street from my family with an IQ of 45 is NOT equal to me. She may have the same rights as me, given the Constitution, but EQUAL? Whoever espouses that is a fucking imbecile. Let’s send them to a Communist country to live among other equal people and see how they feel then.

Ever since Obama came into power, I’ve celebrated Christmas. Staunchly. I’ve decorated Christmas trees, wore elf outfits, hell, I even now listen (as little as I can due to my neurological deafnesses) to Christmas carols. I support mangers in public squares as well as on private lawns.

I’m for keeping Christ in Christmas, dirty Jew that I am.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your blog post is awesome. I mean, wow, m'lady. BTW, not a damn thing wrong with some Chinese food and a movie! Anytime!