Trying to get my package delivered from the Einsteins at UPS and USPS is like pulling out my front teeth with a rusted wrench. It ain’t gonna happen.
Living in a rural area, I don’t have mail service as when I lived in the City. I have to go to the post office for my mail. Which makes life rather exciting simply because my legal address is a P. O. Box.
I never had a street address here until five years ago. Before, my directions consisted of, “Make a left at the rock that looks like a bear onto Lake Street which elbows to the right. Then, make the first left at the bear that looks like a rock back onto Lake Street and follow it down until you see houses which resemble Howard Johnson’s. I’m the house next to that.”
Those were also directions for Time-Warner Cable, NYSEG, Verizon (when I had their service), plumber, propane gas, electrician, tree cutter, and anyone else who needed to come here. It may have something to do with the fact that every street up here is named Lake Street or perhaps too many people died waiting for EMS, but the town decided to put up house numbers for 911. My cottage, storage and utility sheds all got their own numbers as did the illegal port-a-potties dotting the countryside. Recognizing their mistake, the town gave us new numbers. As they say, the third time, it worked like a charm.
Even so, the 911 house numbers partially succeeded. For now, my house is in one town, but my mail is sent to another. Which leads to adventure when I want to receive a package.
What I like the most about UPS is their inconsistency. Some days they never deliver door to door, other days, they deliver right up to my local post office. No matter what UPS Executive Head Office tells me, their people do the opposite. I was told by their Executive Office that UPS never delivers door to door service up here, esp. after I received packages on my doorstep. I was also told that UPS never drops off packages at my post office although the UPS guy goes there every single day except Sundays and holidays to drop off packages.
I haven’t received a UPS delivery in two years now. I tell merchants to send their products via USPS or FedEx. FedEx never fails to deliver ever since I slept with the FedEx guy.
The problem is that should UPS deliver and there’s only a P. O. Box address on the package, they drop the package off at the post office where I physically live which is not the post office where I receive mail. Then, that post office returns the shipment, “Address Unknown.” The same occurs should I put the street address on and they don’t want to deliver because I live out of the way.
I just can’t win.
To combat UPS, I now do a combination address which incorporates the POB in one town and the street address in another. Well, I did receive a few packages that way both by door to door and by being dropped off at the post office.
Until this last package. I guess the combination of those two addresses melted down both the geniuses at UPS and USPS. Customarily, UPS dumps my package at either my post office or at the other town’s. This time, they dumped it at Mid-Hudson, NY which is 85 miles away. My poor package journeyed to Newburgh which is the mail hub for my area, 60 miles away. And then it visited Kingston, NY, far west. Kingston kicked it back to White Plains, NY which is south of Mid-Hudson, NY. And then they threw it to Kearney, NJ, 100 miles southeast from me.
In other words, my package went to 5 post offices. Something tells me it may disappear soon.
Today, I went to the post office with a copy of the tracking numbers and routing slips to ask Gossip Girl to assist. Gossip Girl is our postal worker who prefers gossip over work.
“No can do. It’s UPS.”
“But UPS dropped it off at the post office. Rather, it’s now five post offices that have tossed it around.”
He adamantly refused to help me. He wouldn’t glance at the paper and walked away. USPS service at its finest.
Then, I phoned both UPS and USPS and gave up waiting on hold for an aggregate 3 hours. Instead, I phoned the merchant.
“Remember the gift certificate you gave me because I never received the last shipment?” I said to the customer service representative. They received the package I never received after two months and credited my account and gave me a gift certificate on top of that. “I used it to purchase these products and guess what - I’m not getting those as well.”
“We only use UPS. I’ll do an air express to make sure UPS will deliver it to your door,” she recommended.
“Well, that’s debatable. Why can’t you use FedEx or USPS?”
“We only deal with UPS.”
“That means I’ll never receive your product.”
“Let’s see if this will arrive,” she suggested.
“If not, perhaps you can ship it to my friend 100 miles away and then she’ll mail it to me.”
“If you don’t receive it, yes, we’ll do that."
You’d think that with 26 million unemployed Americans, there’d be a giant glut of qualified workers out there. Perhaps not at UPS and USPS.
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