Here we go again! Once more I’m ahead of my time.
Ten years ago while kicking around Manhattan a young woman seated curbside at a table and chair propped against a brownstone hailed me. Above her, against the building, hung a neon sign, Palm Reader.
“Do you want your palm read?” she asked.
“Nah, I’m better off making up my own future,” I snottily responded.
“It’s free,” she said.
“Okay,” I said and slid onto the stool across from her.
She took my hands, examined them and then said, “Your problem is that your timing is off.”
“Timing?” I said, astonished. I honestly thought she was going to tell me there was a tall, dark and handsome man named King David about to appear in my life.
“Yes, you’re well ahead of your time. Until you get that aligned, well, your life will be in disarray.”
Unnerved, I swiftly stood up and thanked her. She never asked me for money or an appointment. But she was heads on.
You see, I’ve always been a bit out of sync with life as I’m too ahead of the pack. The only complaint I received from my clients when I had my consulting company for 9 1/2 years was, “We don’t give a shit about 5 to 10 years from now. We’re only concerned about the next six months.”
Back then, I analyzed companies to determine future solvency for deals, like mega-loans that were then packaged for smaller banks and/or bundled up as securities and sold to institutions as well as individuals. This was before statistical models, e.g., KMV were put into place. I was pretty good at foreseeing the future. But the banks didn’t care as the managers knew they wouldn’t be around that long in their jobs - their focus was to get their up front bonuses and fuck the bank, depositors, shareholders and investors.
Flash forward, against my editor’s wishes, I self-published and sold online. This decision was made in 2009, way before the pack. In fact, I did research about online retailers and ebooks back in its infancy. There wasn’t any information to research outside of conjecture.
“Oh boy,” said my graphics designer, Laslo Cheffolway. “This is a new field. Talk about ground-breaking!”
Well, my first novel, “Five-Star FLEECING” was a literary success. Insofar as getting my royalties (and reviews) from amazon, well, that was ground-breaking as well. Hate to disappoint, but “Five-Star FLEECING” was a success despite all the impediments that amazon threw in the way. Thankfully, smashwords was on the horizon and they, at least, work well with their authors.
Over the years, I published online edating comedy advice books geared to men and women. Lord knows what those sales were because I had the misfortune of selling them through amazon. I yanked them off, combined them into a men’s and a women’s edition and sold them on smashwords, stirring the pot a bit in the UK and Australia.
So, imagine my surprise when I discovered a brand new Bravo TV show, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. Taken directly from: ME!
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Again, ahead of my time.
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