Ahead of my Time!

My Four Literary Contributions:

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Originally published 3/2014 with updates from 5/2018:

In 2004 a young woman hailed me. She was seated curbside at a table and chair propped against a brownstone in Manhattan. Above her, against the building, hung a neon sign: Palm Reader.

“Do you want your palm read?” she asked.

“Nah, I’m better off making up my own future,” I snottily responded.

“It’s free,” she said.

“Okay,” I said and slid onto the stool across from her.

She took my hands, examined them and then said, “Your problem is that your timing is off.”

“Timing?” I said, astonished. I honestly thought she was going to tell me there was a tall, dark and handsome man named King David about to appear in my life.

“Yes, you’re well ahead of your time. Until you get that aligned, well, your life will be in disarray.”

Unnerved, I swiftly stood up and thanked her. She never asked for money or an appointment. But she was heads on.

You see, I’ve always been out of sync with life as I’m too ahead of the pack. The only complaint I received from my clients when I had my consulting company for 9 1/2 years was, “We don’t give a shit about the next year or even 10 years from now. We’re only concerned about the next six months.”

Back then, I analyzed companies to determine future solvency for deals, like mega-loans that were then packaged for smaller banks and/or bundled up as securities and sold to institutions as well as individuals. This was before statistical models, e.g., KMV were put into place. I was pretty good at foreseeing the future. But the banks didn’t care as the managers knew they wouldn’t be around that long in their jobs - their focus was to get their upfront bonuses and fuck the bank, depositors, shareholders and investors.

Flash forward, against my editor’s wishes, I self-published and sold online. This decision was made in 2009, way before the pack. In fact, I did research about online retailers and ebooks back in its infancy. There wasn’t any information to research outside of conjecture.

“Oh boy,” said my close friend and graphics designer, Laslo Cheffolway. “This is a new field. Talk about ground-breaking!”

Well, my first novel, Five-Star FLEECING was a literary success. Insofar as getting my royalties (and reviews) from amazon, well, that was ground-breaking as well. 
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Over the years, I published online edating comedy advice books geared to men and women and combined them into one. It was hailed by famous comedians who, for some reason, removed those excellent 5-star reviews. But I copied them and they're in the book for posterity.

he he he

So, imagine my surprise when I discovered a brand new (in 2014) Bravo TV show, Online Dating Rituals of the American Male. Taken directly from: ME!

I delayed publication of Amour Anarchy, a Memoir for one year due to barbaric terrorism attacks in France. Then, I realized that terrorism will never go away there so I released the book in 2016. Now, in May 2018, I discovered that a French-Jewish author, Eric Zemmour was fined in France for writing against Islam. 

Holy Shit! I definitely know that Amour Anarchy, a Memoir will be banned and even burnt in France. You gotta read it to understand why.

Again, ahead of my time.

Here's another book destined for greatness:

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Still, all in all, each book is unique and the only things that tie them together is: 

Comedy AND Timeliness!

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