When the Foo Shits

Don’t get me wrong - I love my hometown. What drives me up the walls is for a town of a few hundred people who live here year-round the politics is worse than a metropolis.

Or perhaps because it’s such a small town it’s all blatant and transparent. It all funnels back to what I like to call, “Friends and Family” cabal, spear-headed by one person, Chlamydia.

Chlamydia, like her name, is a disease. She works for a major employer here and ensures that only her friend(s) get jobs. Through her very well-paying, overlapping not to mention conflicts of interest positions in local festivals, town boards, agricultural markets, art and crafts shows and community programs, she maintains the facade of being a civic-minded leader to promote our small community to outsiders.

We call it the ‘finger in every pie’ gangsta style of wreaking terror. In this way, she grabs local craftspeople, farmers, artists by the balls and squeezes and squeezes the life out of them by making sure they can never participate in local festivals and markets. Instead, 99.9999% of the vendors who do participate come from 400 miles away. Rest assured, this is not a way to promote the small town unless you’re a vendor from 400 miles away ready to make money from people flocking to support local vendors.

For over a decade, my town supported a local farmers market operated for free by volunteers. The town didn’t make much money - hell, it gave them a headache with all the issues. As a result, they wanted to wash their hands of the matter.  Magically, Chlamydia came up with the perfect solution to palm off this onerous responsibility to a third party committed to our town. Of course, she temporarily forgot to disclose that she and her band of nepotistic cohorts head up the organization which she recommended. In a heartbeat, my town willingly gave the reins of control of the local farmers market (with a sigh of relief) to an organization which has a title that includes our town, but run by someone in another state.

Chlamydia makes money once more while doing what she does best: punishing local vendors. Not only that, my town is NOT interested in receiving any money which this organization makes under the misguided belief they did the right thing to promote local agricultural business. I find this peculiar given my town nickels and dimes every expense because we’re teetering on bankruptcy and a well-run farmers market guarantees money. That one has me scratching my head.

With Chlamydia in charge, local vendors have no other alternative, but to travel to Manhattan as well as up and down the eastern seaboard to sell their wares to highly receptive customers and organizers of those farmers markets unlike the one here.

Chlamydia shines in one way only: her commitment to vengeance, especially when you peer too closely to see what she’s up to. She has the reputation of making ‘mistakes' when it comes to money, especially the not-for-profits for which she works. Nobody can challenge where the money went in those organizations with which she’s associated or they will be shot or even worse, character assassinated.

Funny enough, money seems to find its way to her parents, herself and her friends. This year alone, everyone in her social network won all sorts of monetary awards from being upstanding leaders in the community, all from organizations of which she’s on the Board.

Makes me want to puke. Seems as if my town consists of four people for only they receive monetary awards. Not to mention the recent civic award to people who picked up and left town for another hundreds of miles away. Is that a hint, a parting gift or a kick-back?

As many people know from previous blog posts, I got my own issues with Chlamydia who ensured that I would NEVER in a million years be featured in any local newspapers, radio shows, art festivals. That’s why I tell people I’m from Astoria. At least in Astoria I’m appreciated.

I got a lot more to say, but want to weather the fallout from this post.

To be continued...

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