Professional Courtesy

You know the old joke, right? Okay, I’ll recount it:

A tennis pro, doctor, religious leader, accountant and lawyer were stranded on an island. Suddenly, a boat drifted a few hundred feet away.

The tennis pro said, “I’m an athlete. I can swim there in no time and get the boat and rescue you.”

The religious leader, doctor, accountant and lawyer said, “Thanks. We’re so out of shape we might not be able to swim there.”

The tennis pro dove into the water and swam 50’, 100’, 200’ and right before he entered the boat, sharks appeared and got him.

The religious leader said, “I served God my entire life. I’m sure God will help me.” With those words, he dove into the water, swam 100’ and boom! the sharks got him.

The lawyer, impatient to get off the island, said, “Listen, let me try. I have nothing to lose as I’m in bad health, overweight, and haven’t exercised in years, but I gotta try.” With that, he dove into the water and swam 20’, 50’ and at 100’ he started to sink until the sharks appeared. They lined up and flipped him on their tails one after another until the last one that gently placed him into the boat.

The accountant, stupefied said, “What the hell was that?”

The doctor smiled. “Professional courtesy.”

And there you have it. Living in a small town, all the sharks assemble together. I learned an important lesson while residing here:

It’s okay to do illicit, illegal, unethical and immoral things. Blatantly. With witnesses.


It’s not okay for anyone to write about it.

I learned a lot here. That contemptible people demand respect. They minimize true achievements of those outside their cliques, demonize others and then pound their chests while aggrandizing the little they have done in life. God forbid anyone who continues to be successful despite their smear campaigns. Their jealousy alone keeps them up at night plotting vengeance.

In this regard, I’ve been the recipient of thinly veiled legal threats. The same cabal wrote puerile comments on my blog which I deleted. It’s MY blog and I can select what I put on here. If they don’t like that, let them put up THEIR blog. But, I may sue them for libel. And plagiarism.

The other day, I spoke to two local attorneys. “You guys know So-and-So, right?”

They nodded. “Yes, we’re quite friendly with her.”

“Tell her to back the fuck off. She keeps threatening to sue me for libel on behalf of her cabal,” I said. “It’s quite tiresome and I don’t like being bullied.”

The two men exchanged glances and burst out into laughter. “Don’t listen to Breasts. She’s an idiot.”

So much for professional courtesy.

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1 comment:

maura stone said...

Yesterday, I bumped into a very nice couple, both artists, from a neighboring village. We exchanged news of our lives and then, of course, local gossip.

“WTF?” I screamed when I heard of their financial fiasco with the cabal.

The husband shook his head. “This is what happens in small towns. You’re not alone."