Name  Maura Stone
Age     
402
Where are you from?           
Planet Earth
A little about yourself, i.e., your education, family, life, etc. 
My family was steeped in academia and comedy. My cousin, Sam Levenson, was a very popular humorist and my dad, his best friend, worked with him for a while. I was the dour child, never finding anything funny which explains my former career in commercial banking.
Fiona: Tell us your latest news!
Besides editing and revising my latest novel, an autobiographical romance, I’m involved in a myriad of projects to promote my new comedy book, eDating the Old School Way. Luckily, it doesn’t involve animal husbandry.
Fiona: When and why did you begin writing?
I’ve always been a writer. Quality of output was another issue.
Fiona: When did you first consider yourself a writer?
It finally hit me when I clutched in my claws a letter from Midwest Book Review recommending my first novel. It was a moment of total acknowledgement.
Fiona: What inspired you to write your first book?
My first book, Five-Star FLEECING, was a complaint letter to management that went a little awry. Like, 500 pages awry. Over a decade, it became my hobby as I sat alone on Saturday nights tinkering away, refining and embellishing. Which explains why I’m single today.
Fiona: Do you have a specific writing style?
I prefer to consider my style snark distilled with a dollop of intellect although I gravitate towards fart jokes.
Fiona: How did you come up with the title, eDating the Old School Way?
I channeled my mother.
Fiona: Is there a message in eDating the Old School Way that you want readers to grasp?
Yes.
Fiona: How much of eDating the Old School Way is realistic?
Only the zombie portion.
Fiona: Is the book based on someone you know, or events in your own life?
Yes.
Fiona: What books have most influenced your life most?
I’m a great lover of satire, e.g., Diderot, Ionesco, Defoe, Sharpe. As you can tell, I studied literature.
Fiona: What book are you reading now?
A tutorial on plumbing.
Fiona: Are there any new authors that have grasped your interest?
Stacey Roberts, Donna Cavanagh, CF Winn, Robin Savage, Heidi Clements
Fiona: Name one entity that you feel supported you outside of family members.
I WISH my family members would support me!
Fiona: Do you see writing as a career? 
I prefer to view it as a vice. It’s more fun that way.
Fiona: Who designs your book covers?
My good friend, Laslo Cheffolway, a talented, award-winning graphic artist has designed all my book covers, my logo and oodles of other stuff.
Fiona: Did you learn anything from writing your book and what was it? 
eDating the Old School Way is a humorous advice book about the perils within the wonderful world of online dating. I did considerable research, eight years’ worth and discovered sordid elements which are identified within the book, e.g., catfish, The Crazy Lady, the Nerd, Damaged Goods, Escorts and zombies. The most important lesson I learned was that I don’t heed my own advice.
Fiona: What do you want written on your headstone? 
O M G! I used to have this conversation with friends. Here goes:
Only woman in New York City who never had a lesbian affair, the only Jewish woman in New York City who never visited Miami and the creator of credit consulting.
Fiona: If you were not a writer what else would you like to have done? 
Professional pole dancer and herpetologist.
Fiona: Can you share a little of your current work with us? 
Sure! This segment was extracted from the fourth part of eDating the Old School Way:

Chapter One
eDating and the Internet




People say you’re a good guy. You haven’t cheated much on your taxes, you kinda earn a living and haven’t guillotined many small mammals lately. Even so, you find it nearly impossible to meet a decent f**kable woman.
From your past experience, online dating services left you disillusioned, disappointed and disheveled. Until that one day, while out downing quaffs of microbrews with office mates, Ernie from Accounting says in a hushed voice, “Did I happen to mention my friend met his wife on the internet?” You lean forward to hear the story in reverence.
In retrospect, Ernie failed to provide any salient points. In fact, he’s a sinkhole of information. Yet, it doesn’t matter anymore because your appetite’s whet.


* * * * *

Chapter Two
eDating Once More




The other night you confess over brewskis to Ernie from Accounting that you want to be in a relationship. You’ve had it with all those brief, albeit pleasurable encounters despite extensive and considerable financial arrangements. Now you want a partner: to hang, be yourself, even fart in her presence knowing she’ll still want to have sex with you.
Yet, it’s difficult to meet a nice lady. You work long hours which make socializing a stretch. Even if you don’t have a job or work long hours, it’s next to impossible. You should know as you’ve done it all: the bar scene, the club scene, the gym scene and the library scene. Out of desperation you attend a church sermon and the last time you checked, you’re not that denomination!
To widen your search, increase your odds and spread your wealth, you join once again numerous sites. This time, you’re certain, will be better. After all, didn’t Ernie from Accounting have a friend who met his wife online? It’s not an urban myth, it’s the truth!


BUBBAMEISTAH FAINT OF HEART MOTHERLY ADVICE: Beware! Online dating services are marketing tools. You have to make the most of what you have to get the most out of it. That’s why the focus is on your photos. Displaying headshots alongside your falcon is not advisable regardless of the tastefully matching knitted hoods. Even those cuddly parrots nibbling on your ears aren’t sexy despite how inviting it feels. Get a good friend to peruse your pics and profile prior to posting online. A good friend is defined as a guy who isn’t your drinking buddy. On second thought, ask your mother what she thinks; she has a vested interest—she wants to see a grandchild, this time legitimate before she dies.


Let’s review a real life case study:
You enroll in several edating sites. Some are free, others require money. At any rate, you write your profile, complete the psychobabble personality exam and then upload your photos. Afterwards, you sit back to see what happens.


SWEET MOTHERLY ADVICE: Post real photos. Sooner or later you’re going to meet a woman in reality. You don’t want to be confronted with a look resembling the painting, The Scream.


KVETCHING MOTHERLY ADVICE: Don’t post pornographic content and/or nude/pornographic pictures should you intend to meet a nice woman. A word to the wise: adults engage in sexual activity without requiring in advance online advertising and discussion of favorite sexual positions. Incidentally, isn’t discovery half the fun?


In a way, edating’s similar to fishing. It’ll take hours, days, weeks or months until you get a nibble and a tug in the form of a chat conversation. That’s when you’ll have the opportunity to hook and reel her in. Afterwards, you must cut her loose, or she’ll press charges.
In those instances when you get no response, you gotta put on your waders and hunt ‘em down, armed with rifle, bat and net. We’re talking metaphorically here!
Nevertheless, even after posting your profile and photos, you feel something’s amiss. A certain feeling you can’t shake. You can’t quite figure out what it is even though the short hairs at the nape of your neck stand painfully at attention.

* * * * *
Fiona: Do you have a blog/website? If so what is it? 
 Unknown-1
Link to purchase eDating the Old School Way:
 
61yR8-7IN1L
 
 
Link to purchase Five-Star FLEECING: