The Elusive Killer Bunny - Myth or Fact?

Don’t be fooled - this is the Elusive Killer Bunny in costume to appear as the Loch Ness monster!

Dedicated to @ToasttheRabbit on twitter

“It was dark outside,” said Roderick. “I was walking home from my friend’s house when I saw a shadow move in the bushes.” His eyes welled up in tears. “And then I saw it.”

“It” is the elusive killer bunny of Western New York State known for its weight, tenacity and bad attitude. Also known for its ability to devour gardens in a twinkling of an eye. Should you get it angry, watch out! Two-pronged fangs can maim.

“Those eyes!” he exclaimed. “Those teeth!” He shuddered in horror. “Only today with other people willing to come forward, can I talk about this without fear of ridicule.”

After all, aren’t bunnies supposed to be humping soft and fun creatures? Peter Rabbit/Peter Cottontail, Harvey, Winnie-the-Pooh’s Rabbit, Flopsy, Thumper, Babbitty Rabbitty and the Easter Bunny. Then you have the cutting-edge ones: Bigwig, Pantoufle, Roger Rabbit, Bugs Bunny, the Energizer Bunny, Bionic Bunny, Br’er Rabbit and the Trix Rabbit. Finally, you have the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and now we introduce:

The Elusive Killer Bunny of Western New York State.

{As you can see, I did considerable research.}

Do you see that blob? Yes, that’s him!

Sightings of the EKB of WNYS have been few and far between. That’s because the 35lb sucker moves like greased lightening.

 The other day, Marjorie captured the footprint of the EKB of WNYS on camera. “If it weren’t for the fresh snow, we would never know the EKB of WNYS scoped out our house,” she said with relief.

Should you spot these hoofprints, RUN!

She knows what to do to thwart any potential threat. 

“They really detest scented softener sheets for dryers,” she stated. “Place them around the house, the car, the garage and the shed. It may stink up the place, but it’s well worth discouraging the Elusive Killer Bunny of Western New York State.

One major characteristic of this creature is his ceaseless stalking of his prey. It may take weeks or months before he attacks. When you least suspect it, he’ll pounce on top of you, biting an ear before he springs off and gobbles up your flowers as he hops away. 

So heed the myths of the Elusive Killer Bunny Rabbit of Western New York State. You never know where he lurks...

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