If You Can’t Beat ‘Em

You see - no secrets!

I love living in a county of 76,660 (as per 2014, a drop of 1.6% over 2013) which has the best stats:

  • Lowest median income for families and individuals in the entire State
  • Highest amount of poverty in the entire State
  • Highest mortality rate in the State and in the Nation
  • Highest death rate in the State and in the Nation for heart disease, cancer and accidents
  • Highest rates of chlamydia and syphilis in the State
  • Highest rate of lyme disease in the State
  • Highest suicide rate in the State, surpassing the Nation
  • Highest stats of booze, smoking, obesity and drugs in the Nation

Welcome to Sullivan County, New York. In conclusion, Sullivan County ranks worse compared to other counties in the state. In particular, it has the worst ranking for mortality and the second to worst ranking for health outcomes for the sixth consecutive year. 

But those are the high points. Crime is prevalent as well and consists mostly of rape, burglary and arson (off season).

Sullivan County is also known for its highly publicized crimes where the perpetrators get away literally with murder. Like the current Mayor of Monticello who reached national prominence for his violence, DWI, attacking his own police verbally and physically as well as his own personal criminal activities. Even after serving a tiny jail sentence years after one major incident, hes still the Mayor. After all, anyone complaining about him breaking the law is a racist.

Not to mention the head of the Department of Family Services who earns over $100,000 a year. $100,000 a year is at least 20x more than the average resident in Sullivan County. At $100,000 a year, he should make damn sure that no poor person goes without heat during the coldest winter in decades. Not this motherfucker. He used the poor people to play a political game because who cares about the poor when the salary is a paltry $100,000 a year. Well, he lost the game. And his job. I doubt, though, he lost his golden parachute.

But the crimes that really dont get challenged or notoriety are the ones that involve nepotism. Sullivan County is rife with nepotism. If you have an in here, you can murder someone and get away with it. To clarify: as long as it isnt racist or anti-Hasidic. The Hasidim rule the roost up here, thanks to the corrupt Sheldon Silver, but I digress.

In Sullivan County, town supervisors illegally sold county property, got caught and NOTHING WAS DONE! In Sullivan County, the FBI raided a town due to election fraud and NOTHING WAS DONE! In Sullivan County, large amounts of grant money was disbursed by one individual to a friend with no audit, no paper trail and NOTHING WAS DONE!

In Sullivan County, laws are broken by courts, police and even the DA's office if it involves nepotism, a free meal and/or booze and a little payola. It takes only a few hundred dollars here to get records expunged. If you have the right connections, you can imprison an ex for no reason other than hating the ex!

I have witnessed justice perverted because of a variety of factors: a new election coming up, payola, graft and nepotism. Justice is meted due to connections. In other words, if your friend has a friend with mega bucks, then you back the fuck off.

Nothing is sacred in Sullivan County. 


I realize while living here that the definition of a fine, upstanding citizen is one who pulls the wool over the summer residents eyes. The reason why people get away with everything up in Sullivan County is because the majority of property owners are seasonal. Those summer people dont want to know what goes on up here because thatll distract them from treating this county as their own personal dysfunctional Club Med.

People flock up here to enjoy our clean waters and land. They litter, drive motor boats 24/7 and act as inappropriate as possible. They attend concerts, go to camps and certain local restaurants. Very little of this money trickles back to the year-round residents. In fact, we end up paying more in taxes for their enjoyment.

Theres a lot to be said about Sullivan County. For such an impoverished, substance-abusing, suicidal place, there are opportunities galore to make big money: Hasidim with illegal developments, grants that never are audited, seasonal businesses that never pay sales tax, their employees and vendors and countless empty promises from new businesses and events. At least our Islamic terrorist enclave abuts another county.

For anyone with an entrepreneurial spirit, Sullivan County’s a clusterfuck wonderland.

You just gotta be connected.

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