Everyone’s a Critic - **WARNING! INFOMERCIAL!**

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The First One
Plugging my books to unsuspecting people is an arduous task. First off, the soft sell is ineffective. And the hard sell, other than putting a gun to their dogs’ heads, almost makes me sound as bombastic as Donald Trump.

Still and all, some people are intrigued and end up purchasing my books. Their dogs’ lives were spared.

Recently, a nice couple expressed interest in my books.

“The first one,” I informed them, “won literary acclaim and awards and established me as a contemporary writer.”

Their eyes glazed over.

“The second one,” I said as Secrets & Seduction magically appeared, “won Best Erotica of 2015.”

The Second One

“Who is Cheri Blossum?” asked the wife.

“My evil alter ego,” I responded. “It’s the Voltarian response to 50 Shades.” I toss that in for the upscale crowd.

“Cute,” said the husband. “Oh, look, that’s ADORABLE!” He pointed to the cover of eDating the Old School Way.

“It’s a parody of dating advice columnists for today’s internet scene,” I said. Sensing their lack of interest, I added, “The majority of readers are happily married couples.”

I knew without a doubt, well, because they clutched the copy of Secrets & Seduction that that was their book of choice.

The following day, I bumped into this couple with another man.

“I read your book last night,” he said. 

The husband interjected, “He’s a fast reader.”

“Did you find it funny?” I asked, addressing the guy.

He responded, “Let’s say this: you wrote more about your broken Apple laptop than the sex scenes.”

That was a first! Most people marvel over the graphic sex scenes. Perhaps Secrets & Seduction is a litmus test of what people really do. Now, I wonder about that guy.

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